519-570-9163
LEE HORTON-CARTER COUNSELLING SERVICES
  • Home
  • About Lee
    • Lee Horton-Carter, M.A.
    • Counselling Philosophy
  • Services
    • Resource Links
    • Individuals
    • Couples
    • Families
    • First Responders
    • Therapy Groups
    • What is EMDR?
    • What is EFT?
  • Coping through a Pandemic
  • Mindfulness -2019
  • Building Resilience & Hope 2018
  • Mindfulness 2017
  • Building Resilience & Hope 2015 & 2016
  • Contact
  • Untitled

All alone....but not without support!

3/11/2016

 
The sad truth, that we all figure out at one point or another, is that no one can take away our emotional pain.  We are all just witnesses and supports for each other in our times of need.  A hug can assuage whatever grief, fear or pain we are experiencing.....but it doesn't take it away.  A reality check can shift our perspective.  However, these things don't make the violation not have happened, or the person come back to life.  It doesn't eliminate the experience from our life.  To heal that we need to move into the pain and create meaning from the event that helps us to heal our soul and allows us to become separate from being defined by it.  Everyone needs to learn that they are not the events that they have suffered through.   We are separate from our experiences and while they inform us about our lives.....they are not WHO WE ARE.  As participant observers to each others experiences, what we all are is emotional midwives......coaching, empathizing and providing information and support to each other in our times of need. And that is VITALLY important in our times of need.  To have healthy relationships with ourselves and each other is to understand that we can support each other about our issues yet we cannot fix each other.  We need to learn the discernment skills of asking for support around the pain and problems that are ours and offering support and not owning the problem or trying to 'fix' problems that are other people's.    We can ask for support but our pain and our problems are ours. We can provide support and community to each other but need to maintain a sense of self and clear boundaries to stay whole and healthy.

I hope you enjoy this song by Beth Neilsen Chapman called 'Sand and Water'.
https://youtu.be/vHf7DtRa5TY


Picture

Comments are closed.

    Categories

    All

    Archives

    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    October 2013

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.