Boing…..boing….boing!   I didn’t say boring.  I said boing!  There are constant images of what life will be if you have shopped, learned, marketed, dressed, decorated ‘right’ in order to have ‘made it’ according to whatever culture you live in.  However, for most people, at some point, life throws a curve ball.  This is where resiliency skills come in.  Resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, or the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape.  The skills involved include feeling your feelings and then thinking about possible solutions.  I find that often people get stuck in their feelings and aren’t able to move into thinking about solutions OR they move so quickly to solutions and thinking that they can discount both their own and others for having feelings about the situation or predicament.  These responses can create unnecessary drama that adds to the difficulty of what is going on.   
 
Understanding the Kapman Drama Triangle is useful for thinking about the dynamics going on in your situation and deciding what choices you need to make to move yourself to healthier solutions.  It typically involves being aware of your own thoughts and feelings, grounding and calming yourself into the present moment, recognizing the power you have to make choices and then focusing on the solutions and taking action about the parts of the situation that you have control of and help to move you forward.  




This following website has useful easy to understand things that are helpful to get off of the drama triangle.  
https://bpdpiecesofme.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/drama-triangle.jpg
Also, I have developed a number of questions that you can ask yourself in order to stay off the triangle if you have been triggered onto any of these positions.  However......I am not sure how to put attachments into my blog posts!  Lol.  So.....I will think about that confusion....research it and put the "How to get back into your Adult" solutions that I have created into another post!  These dynamics permeate our culture and relationships enough that I think I will do a blog post for each position that you can get triggered into.  Cheers.  I hope this information helps you to 'bounce back' from whatever it is you are dealing with!

Tired of election media coverage?  So am I.   And I resent how much it is costing when there are SO MANY problems that could be solved with those funds.  However, that is our system and I'm glad we have it because it reminds us that we get to hire the 'boss' in this business of running the country.  However, I was concerned when I heard someone say recently "What's the point?" when I queried who they were intending to vote for.  I decided I wanted my blog post to respond to this from the point of developing resilience and hope.  The comment "What's the point?" signifies a loss of hope that that person's voice will be heard.  However, he didn't realize that as long as he doesn't speak up then he WON'T get heard.  The act of voting is a personal statement to say "My voice matters and I have hope that if I speak up then whomever is elected will hear that these values and election platforms matter to me".  Now, obviously, this is idealistic.  However, when I see the Aboriginal community gathering together to speak up with their votes I see a group of people who are moving out of their victimhood to claim their rights as citizens in this country who matter and deserve to be treated respectfully and heard about their issues.  When we stay silent in a relationship and implode with our anger we hurt ourselves and fuel a negative world view.   Ultimately we have to think and take action to be heard about the fact that we matter and we deserve to be heard.  And we have to participate in making things better or we succumb to negativity and hopelessness.  No....it won't be perfect.....but at least you will have participated in how you would like it to move forward.  Those are signs of resilience and hope.  And THAT is why it is important to vote......for whomever reflects YOUR voice and your values.

Here is Shane Koyczan at our very own Hillside Festival in Guelph expressing this concept so eloquently.

https://youtu.be/Untt_D3_5XM
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Taking the week off to take care of me!  Hope you get to enjoy some time for yourself as well.