It's a bit 'More-ish'

Do you know why they put bowls of peanuts out on bar countertops?

Because they're 'more-ish'.  Ya know.  You just want MORE once you start.....and then you'll want to drink more and then they make more money .....etc, etc, etc.   So I work with a lot of people who have addictions.  An addiction is essentially something 'more-ish' that people gravitate towards and ingest because in the moment that it is being ingested it is making the person feel better.  And people want more of that calm or disconnected from pain feeling.  Eating, drinking, shopping, sex, work, the need to please.....the substance might be different on the surface but underneath it's all the same.  The substance is numbing out the shame, hurt, pain, grief, anger or loneliness that the person doesn't think that they can face.   Everyone needs to feel loved, valued, seen, heard and supported.....within themselves and towards each other.   When that happens then the need for a substance subsides.  And the need for the addictive substance will subside at the same rate as the ability to take responsibility for letting it go, taking in the positive and practicing the skills that will be grounding.  There is a brilliant video created by 'themindunleashed.org' that shows how rats became addicted to drugs when they were left in a sterile cage alone.  However, once they were given companionship and toys they were uninterested in the drugs.  It's that simple and it's that complicated.  We need love and to be positively engaged in our mind, body and spirit.  However, when people have been actively engaged in their addiction, their behaviour can illicit the kind of responses that the addict was terrified of getting.  The words and behaviours that they most feared come back at them from their loved ones.  It's very hard to watch.  The good news is that videos like this one are out there and people are being much more open about their recovery......which makes it much less shameful to admit you have something to recover from and easier to move in the direction of taking in the support you need to change.  One day at a time.....

themindunleashed.org/2016/02/this-brilliant-animated-video-will-forever-change-your-views-on-addiction.html