I have been asked to speak to the subject of trauma and how we can cope in ways that keep us healthy. I work with a lot of First Responders and the subject of PTSD and its prevention is a very hot…and important...topic these days. I speak to this topic at conferences. I talk about how shame from the past or present situation can often get triggered, and when it does people need to have healthy responses to it in order to heal from or prevent PTSD. Funny thing is...the feedback I keep getting is NOT to use the word shame. It’s too shameful. That’s like a doctor talking to a patient about an infection and not referring to the puss or ‘tainted bodily fluid’. Now don’t get me wrong, I do NOT want to shame people about their shame and I am all about teaching people how to be resilient. AND I want to give people the information about what to look for so that they can know what to do. So if you have had a bad incident of any type and you start to think “I’m not smart enough, good enough, loveable enough etc.”, you will likely be feeling shame. When people feel shame they tend to isolate and behave in ways that are not helpful. If you want to respond from a resilient place, then you need to affirm yourself and get present. Or find someone whom you trust that you can be open with and work on taking in the affirmation from them. No, this does not necessarily mean you need therapy. It means that love and intimacy help to heal shame. Therapists are helpful, and so are partners and friends. You need to turn the cycle of shame into a cycle of resilience and see yourself as okay. All people make mistakes and life is far from perfect. We need to get into the habit of separating our humanity from our behaviour or the traumatic incidents that happen to us. And we need to love ourselves and surround ourselves with loving people so that we can heal our wounds. Namaste.
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