So for many of us, last weekend was Thanksgiving. A time when many people get together with family or friends to celebrate life, food and be grateful. Now, as always, some people won't have had that opportunity. It could be that their family is in another country, or they are estranged from them or close family members have passed away. Holidays tend to intensify what is going on in our lives and if it is grief or trauma then feeling different than the socially acceptable norm can be difficult. And social media doesn't help. It tends to play up the dominant story of how people 'should' be experiencing Thanksgiving. And photos of 'everyone else' having close and loving family encounters makes this perception worse. No one posts the pictures of their Uncles getting drunk and passing out. Or their family member being so mean that someone is crying in the bathroom.
Check out this article for current research about social media and teen mental health:
https://www.psycom.net/social-media-teen-mental-health#currentresearch
So holidays can be triggering and difficult for people and can make gratitude more tricky, however, there is always something to be grateful for and the practice of gratitude is important for your sense of happiness and fulfillment. So you can have gratitude for things that are not the people or circumstances that are difficult in your life. Like the beauty of what is around you. Or the abundance that we live in when we compare ourselves to many other countries. And you can have gratitude for your own resilience. When the focus is kept on what you have the ability to control then you will always fair better.
This is Maslow's hierarchy of human needs. If you are an adult, you can look at this hierarchy and see that you have control of much of your self-actualization. (***now this assumes that you have control of your brain etc so that you can make choices, get a job etc) You can get a job and place to live and surround yourself with people who are psychologically and physically safe. You can love and affirm yourself, your feelings and your needs. You can learn to regulate your emotions and use your mind to think about things that matter to you and continue to stimulate you. Belonging is the tricky one for people but that just requires creative thinking. You can belong to a book club, a church, a political group, a dance or art group. A gym or a neighbourhood association. A volunteer group. There are countless ways to belong,however, it requires joining and participating......that's your part!
So when you think of gratitude....don't forget to be grateful for yourself. Ultimately, it's not happiness that brings us gratitude; it's gratitude that brings us happiness. And THAT we have control of!
Namaste,
Lee
Check out this article for current research about social media and teen mental health:
https://www.psycom.net/social-media-teen-mental-health#currentresearch
So holidays can be triggering and difficult for people and can make gratitude more tricky, however, there is always something to be grateful for and the practice of gratitude is important for your sense of happiness and fulfillment. So you can have gratitude for things that are not the people or circumstances that are difficult in your life. Like the beauty of what is around you. Or the abundance that we live in when we compare ourselves to many other countries. And you can have gratitude for your own resilience. When the focus is kept on what you have the ability to control then you will always fair better.
This is Maslow's hierarchy of human needs. If you are an adult, you can look at this hierarchy and see that you have control of much of your self-actualization. (***now this assumes that you have control of your brain etc so that you can make choices, get a job etc) You can get a job and place to live and surround yourself with people who are psychologically and physically safe. You can love and affirm yourself, your feelings and your needs. You can learn to regulate your emotions and use your mind to think about things that matter to you and continue to stimulate you. Belonging is the tricky one for people but that just requires creative thinking. You can belong to a book club, a church, a political group, a dance or art group. A gym or a neighbourhood association. A volunteer group. There are countless ways to belong,however, it requires joining and participating......that's your part!
So when you think of gratitude....don't forget to be grateful for yourself. Ultimately, it's not happiness that brings us gratitude; it's gratitude that brings us happiness. And THAT we have control of!
Namaste,
Lee
RSS Feed
